Letting Go of "Stuff"
Moving to a new residence, performing a major cleaning, rearranging furniture,
remodeling: these events stir thoughts about who we are and how our "stuff"
defines us. How much do we own? How much of that do we need? How much does what
we own get in the way of our daily life? For me, these questions resonate even
more in the wake of recent catastrophic events that left so many without homes
or even basic possessions
Keepers and Collectors/Purgers and "Clutter-Haters"
We all fall somewhere on the continuum: do you like your spices arranged and alphabetized, your clothes hanging in the closet by color and all surfaces clear and dust-free? Or do you hang on to take-out receipts from 1986 ("just in case") and a snow globe collection from Colonial Williamsburg and Dayton, Ohio ("for sentimental reasons")? There are many types of collectors and purgers and many diverse practical and emotional reasons for keeping stuff and throwing it away. But a recent experience with clutter got me thinking.
My spouse and I recently offered to help a neighbor, a lovely, generous widow in her late sixties, "de-clutter" her condo in preparation for moving. You may have heard the term "pack rat," but this doesn't begin to describe her situation (though there is nothing, even remotely, "rat-like" about her appearance or demeanor). The piles and heaps of paper, clothing, magazines, jewelry and unopened consumer items had begun to take over the apartment, making living there both difficult and hazardous. (Helpful hint: if you have to use MapQuest to get from your sofa to the stereo cabinet and back, you've got too much stuff!)
Much has already been written about what drives people to collect things (books, newspapers, figurines, DVD's) in such quantities that the sheer bulk of them overwhelms their living space creating fire, safety, and health hazards. Psychologists have names for these behaviors and those exhibiting them, and causes that range from chemical imbalances to early deprivation. I don't claim to be able to diagnose root causes in anyone including myself . While nowhere near as extreme as our friend, I've carried papers, knick-knacks, and purposeless accessories from one home to another until realizing that I'd gone almost twenty years without using the stuff or finding a purpose for it. With no small amount of fear and regret, I finally did a major purge on my last move.
Letting Go
Whatever the reasons that the clutter piles up, there comes a time when we know we have to get rid of some stuff, but how do we decide? This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it's what I work with:
Guilt Over "Waste." This is my biggest stumbling block. Even though I was born long after the Great Depression (thank you very much!), I think my religion or background or osmosis taught me not to waste stuff. And it would be great if we could apply this philosophy at the consumption end, but when we use the adage "don't waste" as a reason to hold on to stuff long past its usefulness, fear of "wasting" has ceased to perform a noble function.
These feelings can be mitigated greatly by recycling or repurposing said items (find out how below). But there are times when the plastic door from the Sony Walkman you lost on the train some years ago just needs to be thrown out.
Emotional Connection ("but she gave it to me ..."). This can be hard when items evoke specific memories or, though completely useless and not our taste, were given to us by people we cherish. Getting around this one involves developing a thick skin and asking (and answering) some hard questions:
How to Get Rid of It
Sell It. These days, there are a ton of opportunities to recycle stuff by selling it, either for Starbucks-and-lottery-ticket money at a yard sale, better money if you can hold out for it through Craig's List, Half.com, or Amazon.com, or "real" money if the item has some inherent marketplace value by posting it on eBay. Alternatively, you can old a yard sale. There are plenty of good sites that offer tips on setting up a yard sales, but as a veteran of several, I'll offer these tips:
Recycle it. There are no shortage of people and organizations that could make good use of your (decent condition!) old stuff. Local charities, homeless shelters, and clothing drives can all find new owners for your hand-me-downs. Just do everyone a favor and don't try to pawn off something damaged or defective. If you wouldn't wear a light wool jacket with a coffee stain down the back, no one else will want to either.
Nowadays, there are also sites on the internet like freecycle.org that bring together people with excess stuff and people looking for and needing same. Check it out.
Throwing it away. Sometimes, the item just needs a decent burial. Nobody has any use for two plastic backgammon pegs or your notes from "The Science of Man" course you took in college.
Let It Go
Learning to let things go by either selling, giving, or throwing them away can impart immense physical and psychological benefits. You can start to appreciate what you have. You can add to someone else's happiness and welfare. And you can breathe easier, in every sense.
Keepers and Collectors/Purgers and "Clutter-Haters"
We all fall somewhere on the continuum: do you like your spices arranged and alphabetized, your clothes hanging in the closet by color and all surfaces clear and dust-free? Or do you hang on to take-out receipts from 1986 ("just in case") and a snow globe collection from Colonial Williamsburg and Dayton, Ohio ("for sentimental reasons")? There are many types of collectors and purgers and many diverse practical and emotional reasons for keeping stuff and throwing it away. But a recent experience with clutter got me thinking.
My spouse and I recently offered to help a neighbor, a lovely, generous widow in her late sixties, "de-clutter" her condo in preparation for moving. You may have heard the term "pack rat," but this doesn't begin to describe her situation (though there is nothing, even remotely, "rat-like" about her appearance or demeanor). The piles and heaps of paper, clothing, magazines, jewelry and unopened consumer items had begun to take over the apartment, making living there both difficult and hazardous. (Helpful hint: if you have to use MapQuest to get from your sofa to the stereo cabinet and back, you've got too much stuff!)
Much has already been written about what drives people to collect things (books, newspapers, figurines, DVD's) in such quantities that the sheer bulk of them overwhelms their living space creating fire, safety, and health hazards. Psychologists have names for these behaviors and those exhibiting them, and causes that range from chemical imbalances to early deprivation. I don't claim to be able to diagnose root causes in anyone including myself . While nowhere near as extreme as our friend, I've carried papers, knick-knacks, and purposeless accessories from one home to another until realizing that I'd gone almost twenty years without using the stuff or finding a purpose for it. With no small amount of fear and regret, I finally did a major purge on my last move.
Letting Go
Whatever the reasons that the clutter piles up, there comes a time when we know we have to get rid of some stuff, but how do we decide? This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it's what I work with:
Guilt Over "Waste." This is my biggest stumbling block. Even though I was born long after the Great Depression (thank you very much!), I think my religion or background or osmosis taught me not to waste stuff. And it would be great if we could apply this philosophy at the consumption end, but when we use the adage "don't waste" as a reason to hold on to stuff long past its usefulness, fear of "wasting" has ceased to perform a noble function.
These feelings can be mitigated greatly by recycling or repurposing said items (find out how below). But there are times when the plastic door from the Sony Walkman you lost on the train some years ago just needs to be thrown out.
Emotional Connection ("but she gave it to me ..."). This can be hard when items evoke specific memories or, though completely useless and not our taste, were given to us by people we cherish. Getting around this one involves developing a thick skin and asking (and answering) some hard questions:
-
Do I ever, ever use it?
-
Is it currently on display or put away in the same box it arrived in?
-
Would somebody else find a purpose for it?
-
Will the person who gave it to me know if it suddenly disappears (and
can you come up with a satisfactory alibi if they do, e.g., "Oh my God,
I didn't know how to tell you! George broke it when he was dusting!")
How to Get Rid of It
Sell It. These days, there are a ton of opportunities to recycle stuff by selling it, either for Starbucks-and-lottery-ticket money at a yard sale, better money if you can hold out for it through Craig's List, Half.com, or Amazon.com, or "real" money if the item has some inherent marketplace value by posting it on eBay. Alternatively, you can old a yard sale. There are plenty of good sites that offer tips on setting up a yard sales, but as a veteran of several, I'll offer these tips:
-
Advance Publicity -- Advertising in the local paper or on the web during
the week prior to your sale will generate a huge percentage of your visitors.
There are "yard sale junkies" out there who scour the papers each week,
and if they don't know about your sale, chances are they won't "happen by."
-
Signs -- These don't bring in nearly as much traffic, but they're quite
necessary. Make sure you draw a little map for those who otherwise won't
bother to try and find you.
-
Prepare -- Spend a couple of weeks gathering up your stuff so you don't
overlook some items that would probably sell. Labeling and pricing everything
can take some time, so start at least a few days before the yard sale.
-
Early Birds -- No matter what time you post as your "start time," people
will come early (especially those who read your newspaper ad). Anticipate
this by knowing how you're going to set up ahead of time and have one person
who will stay with the "merchandise" while the other goes inside and gets
the rest.
-
Arrange Attractively -- Make the most of tables, crates, and other surfaces
(but don't load the bookcases up; those sell quickly). Group like things
together and make the presentation inviting.
-
Keep Track of Your Money -- As goofy as they look, cloth "carpenter aprons"
from Home Depot can be handy for keeping cash nearby. Get lots of singles
and change the night before.
Recycle it. There are no shortage of people and organizations that could make good use of your (decent condition!) old stuff. Local charities, homeless shelters, and clothing drives can all find new owners for your hand-me-downs. Just do everyone a favor and don't try to pawn off something damaged or defective. If you wouldn't wear a light wool jacket with a coffee stain down the back, no one else will want to either.
Nowadays, there are also sites on the internet like freecycle.org that bring together people with excess stuff and people looking for and needing same. Check it out.
Throwing it away. Sometimes, the item just needs a decent burial. Nobody has any use for two plastic backgammon pegs or your notes from "The Science of Man" course you took in college.
Let It Go
Learning to let things go by either selling, giving, or throwing them away can impart immense physical and psychological benefits. You can start to appreciate what you have. You can add to someone else's happiness and welfare. And you can breathe easier, in every sense.
